Shattered
by Sassyblondexoxo
Summary: April. Raphael. A shocking mistake.


**_What does April mean to Raphael? Is it possible to love someone and hate them at the same time, for totally different reasons? _**

**_Does he lust for her sexually? Or is it more than that? Is it that at all? _**

**_Can pain come from her affection? And more importantly, what kind of pain? _**

**_What does she represent to him?_**

**_How thin is the thread of trust that holds two friends together? Could you forgive?_**

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Credits:** Inspired in a roundabout way by **Midnightheir, **who is never afraid to delve into the deep, dark depths of the turtles. Also to** sss979 –** her personality profiles, and the sum total of her work. She shows us that the possibilities are endless. And finally, thank you to the ever so talented** Dierdre** for the beta. You're help was greatly appreciated. 

"The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible" **–** **Unknown **(originally found on **Pacphys** bio page)

**-Please be aware of controversial content-**

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**SHATTERED**

Is tonight any different, the emptiness I feel?  
Maybe it's the way you dressed  
The sound of your voice  
Or the way you're pulling me back from the void

_I thought that you could be my savior  
__Angelic grace to wash over my soul  
__But instead your heat only lighted my fire  
__Consuming my heart in flames_

So naïve, your arms curl around my neck  
The sadness in my eyes, you pretend its not there  
You try to kiss the past and make it better  
But you can't erase the pain from your affection

_Because of you, I saw what I didn't have  
__Felt what I shouldn't have felt  
__Wanted what could never happen  
__Died a little with every moment_

Imagined music, your figure starts to bend  
Begging me to play with you  
This innocent, careful game of yours  
How it hurts when you take it back again

_Do I love you?  
__I ache for every inch of you, your touch and your kiss  
__My breath would escape me for you  
__But can you love the one that kills you everyday?_

All you do is live for now  
I drink in your scent, run my hands across your waist  
So seductive, rhythm takes over  
Our friendship is blurring as I cross the line

_Can a heart break that was never whole to begin with?  
__You'll never be enough  
__But still more than I can handle  
__How do I keep you from taking over me?_

I feel myself giving up on me  
Every muscle focusing down on you  
Hurt, anger, rage, quaking through the surface  
Wish I had the strength to walk away

_We've been heading on a collision course  
__It's finally too late, and I can't stop  
__I've always blamed you for this dangerous game  
__Having given me a glimpse of paradise_

Holding you close, pushing you down  
I hear you whimper my name  
The tears run down and stain your cheeks  
You've driven me to a place where I don't care

_Fire behind my eyes, madness in my heart  
__Can you feel it surging through me?  
__I hate you for bringing me up too high  
__I can't stand the possibility of falling tonight_

My body takes over, I can hear your gasping breath  
I'm lost at a point between desire and insanity  
I feel your fear as your body trembles  
But never once do you try to scream

_Do I hate you?  
__A part of me always has, always will  
__You've show me pieces of what I want to be  
__Parts of my puzzle eternally incomplete_

Your form so small beneath my chest  
Still holding you down, but you've stopped fighting  
Face turned away, unwilling to see me  
Refusing to wake up to a nightmare

_Confusion, grief swallowed me whole  
__What made me surrender tonight?  
__The dam inside me finally broken  
__Just once to feel your freedom_

I see the bruise on your face, blood on your lips  
My hands are still tangled in your hair  
Expressionless eyes stare into the darkness  
They show me what I've stolen from you

_Heaven crashed down on me tonight  
__I lost everything that I never had to begin with  
__And because I fell  
__Both of us are shattered_

…and finally, I hear you scream

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Author's note: **

Absolute_? Definitely not._

Outrageous? _Probably._

Possible? _I think that is part of what makes it so disturbing._

In all honesty, I don't think that this would ever happen. But part of what makes writing an artistry is that it allows our minds to run rampant with "what ifs."

I'm fully prepared to take flack for this, so please review, even if it's to throw flames. I'd love to hear your opinion. All types of feedback can make a writer better.

And for those of you that are waiting – _the Plague is coming…_


End file.
